“Moving on is easy, letting go is the utmost feat”.
Walking down the corridors of time,we often find ourselves in situations where our innate abilities are questioned. The willpower to allow some issues slip from our fingers or just remain dormant and saprophytic, nestled in our system which is an important factor in our relationship with others or our perception of them and things around us.
Have you ever wondered why you never allowed yourself to let your guard down around your supposed ex or a mutual friend because you are scared of being hurt all over again? Everyone has been through one or more situations that has taught them very important life lessons, which has been a spring board in deciding what to or not to do. We often question the motive of a person who would rather not have anything to do with anything or anyone who has a close contact with a painful memory or event which could have been prevented but still took place.
It could be losing a job that meant so much to you because of the negligence of a colleague or just because your company couldn't afford it anymore. At this juncture, you question fate. You wonder why out of hundreds of workers, why me? This could lead to you harbouring hateful thoughts and feelings towards the person or organisation as a whole.
Going down memory lane, I remember when I was in high school in my early teens I was to partake of an important essay competition. I was chosen to represent the school and I worked hard day and night to get my points right, spellings and all I needed to write an outstanding essay. The competition was sponsored by one of my mentors and my English teacher knew how much it meant for me to be a part of it.
Alas, the D-Day came and I was told few minutes to departure that another student had gone in my stead. A junior student who was chosen because the principal was a close relation and she felt she'd do better. Well, she flunked and came back with nothing. I was devastated, furious and genuinely unhappy about it. My young self couldn't conceal my emotions and I expressed myself to my teacher. My teacher's reply that day goes thus: “Kunbi an eagle doesn't require only one stage to show its flying prowess, instead it takes the world at ransom. You're an eagle girl, don't let the ducks strain your beautiful wings”.
I went home that day a changed person, my perception of things totally changed from that experience. I've since wrote exceptional essays, stories and articles that have been published but I never recovered from that experience. For years afterwards I'd regret never getting that chance to meet with my mentor and other students with kindred spirits just because of a typical case of nepotism and favouritism, chosing family members over merit.
I did forgive my principal and the junior student who later became a friend, but the memory is so fresh like it happened yesterday. I've since moved on to greater things, but I couldn't let it go…
Your experience can be a whole lot different from mine but it all boils down to actually accepting things the way they are and finding a place in our hearts to forgive and forget.
Majority of people find it easier to get on with their lives but still harbour some amount of hate or agony about the situation which could make an unpleasant turn out.
From experience I can tell that moving on is easy, but letting go is the utmost feat. You could move on by going into another relationship, getting a job with another establishment, start-up your own business, make another baby or build another friendship or house. Yet letting go of that hurt, pain, disappointment takes a whole lot of willpower and determination.
Some of us will always be scarred from our past but we'll be doing ourselves a lot of good by just letting things slide. Sometimes unpleasant situations can be blessings in disguise, it's better to just stop holding on to these hurtful memories and let sleeping dogs lie. It doesn't matter how deeply hurt you were, always believe that everything would turn out well and in your favour in the end. Let's all make hay while the sun still shines and ignore the gloomy patch in the clouds. Let go and let God have His way.
Written by Bello Adekunbi.
Bello Adekunbi “Kunbella” is an effervescent soul, bookish and loves watching classical movies. If she's not writing, taking long strolls on the beach or dancing, her head will definitely be buried in a book. Catch her on Instagram @kunbi_bello, Twitter @adekunbi_bello or Google #kunbellawrites.